r/canadaguns • u/CrossBorderCanuck • Apr 01 '26
News / Politics / Activism A letter from someone who lost their father to a firearm
I'll not bury the lede. Keep challenging laws that restrict access. Keep pushing for the right to self-defense. Push all the political parties.
Most people don't expect me to have that opinion but having a lifetime to reflect and acknowledge difficult truths has led me to this point. I’m not sure my siblings agree with me or not, or if they like me talking about it but we each must make the choices our consciences dictate. Even fewer seem to expect me to have this opinion, since I was for a time a paying member of the NDP (when and why I stopped is a different conversation) and tend to skew to the left.
This story did not occur inside of Canada, but it’s relevant.
Today was my father’s birthday. That's why I'm posting this today, it weighs heavily on my mind and heart today. When I was a teenager, he was shot once in the abdomen with a .22LR. It was a point-blank shot. The round hit his spine. The tumbling and fracturing did so much internal damage that they couldn't get blood into him fast enough or repair the damage fast enough. It was a terrible six hours of agony before he passed. That was in 1993.
As one can imagine, I've been haunted by this for most of my life, but the uncomfortable truth is - in that situation, the person with the firearm I believe was justified.
My father was a large man. A strong blue-collar mountain man. Now, there are a lot of details that my family wouldn't share with me when I was a teenager and still don't like to talk about now but there are a few things I know to be true.
1- He was under the influence. Be it alcohol, drugs, both, I've heard conflicting stories.
2- He was fighting with another man, who was much smaller than him.
3- The other man fell back to his home, was pursued, made it to his rifle, and aimed it to deter my father.
4- This detail varies depending on the teller. Some have said my father hit the gun and it went off. Some say he pulled it toward him and it went off. Some say he was just close and shot. The truth of the matter is though; it was a fight. There was a significant size and strength difference, I wouldn't be surprised if it was a 100lb difference. He was close enough that touching the rifle when it went off was viable.
The shooter was arrested initially. I visited him in jail and talked to him. He was released after a short time and not charged. Every handful of years or so I talk to him still, all these years later. I know the toll that it took on his heart and soul is heavier than any sentence the law could lay on him. I've hugged him. I've told him that he didn't need me to forgive him, because he didn't do anything wrong.
He tried to escape from a much larger violent person. He tried to deter that person. The reality is, all it takes sometimes is one good punch to hit the wrong way and life changes forever - or ends. I try not to think about how it could have turned out for him if he didn't stop the threat.
Could pepper spray have worked? Maybe, it's hard to say. A stun gun? Honestly probably not. I can easily see a big mountain man slapping it away before it was effective. The .22lr did though. It wasn't done easily, it exacted a damning price, but it worked.
Even my father, while in the hospital bleeding and in terrible pain, asked that the man not be charged before he died. He took responsibility for his actions.
I've had a lifetime to think about this. Twice per year it's heavy on me. His birthday and date of death.
Don't give an inch. You can't and won't win them all in the courts, but the fight must be fought. Exact a terrible political cost for every win that the ones who want to restrict firearms further win.
It's not likely statistically, sure, but the next person who finds themselves in that spot can be any one of us.
Firearm rights are human rights. A right to protect your life. Your family’s life. At least an option, even if it’s a bad one, in the event of foreign aggression of any kind. A right to at least have a chance of keeping food in a pot for your family, and a tool to do so that can be passed down over generations. As the world and technology evolved, it’s become an intrinsic part of survival for hundreds of years.
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u/CurlyWurly61 Apr 01 '26
I'm sorry for your loss ❤️ from reading this post, I can tell you are a very strong, and mature person. Thanks for sharing your story, and may your father rest in peace
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u/hitmanhux Apr 01 '26
I'm sorry for your loss that must have been very hard as a teen.
Your emotional intelligence is very very high, and I think it would be very difficult to forgive someone who took my father's life.
I'm also happy you didn't become one of those nutjob extremists like the polytechnique lady. Youd be a formidable opponent.
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u/CrossBorderCanuck Apr 01 '26
I'd actually love an opportunity to sit down and talk with the Polytechnique people over a cup of coffee. I can understand and empathize with pain and anger, and that commonality between us just might lead things to a place of better understanding.
I think a whole lot in the world would be better if more people sat down and talked over coffee, with the intent of conversing to understand, and not to convince or combat.
We all have more in common than not.
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u/hitmanhux Apr 01 '26
100%. You know who are really upset about the gun grab? The portapique residents.
Trudeau banned AR15s standing on the graves of those poor souls, touting his gun ban. When in reality the POS shooter smuggled his guns from the states. They're not happy....
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u/throwaway11100217 Apr 01 '26
Couldn't agree more, it's funny because both the anti-gun side and the pro-gun side actually agree on the main point. Something needs to be done about these mass killings and murders. It's only that we disagree on the way to get there.
It bothers me so much that these political parties turn this into a voter issue that divides people rather than coming together to truly find a solution here.
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u/madbuilder Apr 01 '26
It's really interesting and rare to hear a left-wing perspective on self defense and what our blunt American friends would call 'gun rights'. And it's really a compelling argument regardless of your politics. Thank you for taking the time to share this personal story.
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u/CrossBorderCanuck Apr 01 '26
I do wish more people who skew left like I do were more vocal about this particular topic. I know plenty of left leaning people with their PAL and RPAL, but for some reason they aren't comfortable talking openly or in support of it.
It could be a discomfort with admitting alignment on a topic with others who have different political leanings in this day and age due to a team vs team mentality, it could be apprehension based on fear of backlash from others on the left, all of the above, none of the above, I don't know.
How do we all grow though, if we don't admit that for the most part we all want the same thing at the core. The ability to be happy, healthy, raise our families in peace, and be left alone.
So I'll be the lefty to be open about it.
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u/InitialAd4125 Apr 02 '26
Arguably once you reach a certain point of leftism if you aren't pro gun you have a massive contradiction in your believe system.
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u/CrossBorderCanuck Apr 02 '26
I mean, I'm well aware that my ancestors who were Kentucky and West Virginia coal miners, who told stories of Blair Mountain and other such events didn't get their right to unionize and get better working conditions by saying pretty please.
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u/InitialAd4125 Apr 02 '26
Yep guns are one of the main reasons why monarchies aren't a thing that has much power anymore so it's no suprise the rich wish to disarm the peons. They wish to make us chattel even more then we are now.
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Apr 01 '26
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u/airchinapilot Apr 01 '26
No one is banned from the sub for that. People are banned for being jerks and for egregious violations of the sub rules that you can read on the right.
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u/InitialAd4125 Apr 01 '26
Exactly this isn't the main Canada subs where they'll ban you for daring to challenge the mods point of view.
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u/-rifle-is-fine- Apr 02 '26
Whoever needs to read this:
The teams are not "Conservatives vs Liberals". Both parties do things well and do things shitty.
The person at your range who voted for Carney or Singh last year ARE your teammates for that hobby.
Focus on what you have in common with others instead of what you are polar opposites on. Hate less, it will be good on your heart and mind.
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u/GFN_good_for_nothing Apr 01 '26
Thanks for sharing your story man. I’m so sorry for what happened to you and your family, the fact that despite all that you’re coming out to support the community means even more given what you’ve been through.
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u/CrossBorderCanuck Apr 01 '26
Thanks for the support in that. I raised my kid to believe that it's important to speak up, even when it's hard, when your heart knows it's right. I can't help but to feel that the best time to speak up was yesterday (so to speak), the second best time is today.
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u/1882greg Apr 01 '26
Thank for this. It reinforces something I feel that’s informed by knowing some former operators. I want to believe that I could do what is necessary in a life or death situation to protect myself. But I want even more to live my life not having to.
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Apr 01 '26
thanks for sharing. anecdotal but you are the second person to share their experience with gun violence that lead to death. both of you share the same viewpoint. firearm rights are human rights.
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u/Enough_Challenge7264 Apr 01 '26
God made man, Sam Colt made man equal. No one has to take a beating from anyone, ever.
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u/Fuck_you_all22 Apr 02 '26
Gosh, i am speechless at your courage to face the facts and tell the truth. When your loved ones are involved, it is hard to be impartial and factual. Hope you and your family will find some peace and relief from the pain.
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u/Mrdingus6969 Apr 01 '26
Thanks for this but also a stun gun on a intoxicated person could actually kill them from what I heard. Apparently the spark ignites the alcohol in the blood. Not sure how true
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Apr 01 '26
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u/__phil1001__ Apr 01 '26
Thank you for telling your truth. I hope by doing this it unburdens you of pain and the guilt that no matter that your dad was at fault, you still love and miss him.